Fuck My House

Posted on September 5th by Jenna
 

Spiderman find us a new house that will be so awesome and stuff please because it's really hard to spend all my time looking for shit most of them suck anyways because it's after September 1st so lots of the cool awesome dope ill nasty nana jump off shit shit is already taken so I can live in like a mountain house in the middle of no where or a shanty under the bridge and that's about it but you never know I could get really lucky and get a sweet ass fucking little yard that the kermit worm can run in a million circles in a row and be all like weeeeeee mom look at me i'm borderline retarded just chasing myself in circles because I'm a greyhound and everybody loves me and just gained like 3 pounds today because he ate A WHOLE PANINI off the table when I left for 5 minutes I mean that's gotta be some kind of record for an 8 pound dog like come on little man you should not be able to put that much food down and there's plenty of times when he steals my food off my plate like a fucking gray ninja and eats it like he gives a fuck and the other day I came in and he had opened a backpack and stolen a bag of treats out of it and eaten all of them like how the fuck does a dog even open a backpack that is the most insane thing of all time and then he just sits all gluttonous and proud of himself in the sunshine for the rest of the day, then cries because he drank all of his water to wash down his gluttonous spoils and wants more, and then goes and takes a nice shit in my room without even politely asking to go outside like what the actual fuck herman is your deal because i don't know what you were in your past life that made you think you are the absolute fucking king of the world and marbles always tells on him when I get home too he's like oh hell no I'm not going down for this one I'm just a little guy that can barely get on and off a couch and it took me an entire year to learn how to sit you know I didn't do that shit and then I pet the meeble and yell at worm except part of me admires his ability to give a giant middle finger to authority even though I'm like 1000000 times bigger than him he literally just says fuck you bitch and does whatever he wants. It's admirable. Can we live in your house now?

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