How To Mildly Annoy Other People

Posted on December 19th by Jenna
 

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Legit true story, the last scene of this video (and actually much of this video) was 100% actual things that my brother did in real life. We grew up at our Mom's house, and we would eat dinner at this little kitchen table together tucked in a corner in our kitchen, really small so we would all be really close together. We would always get in so much trouble for swearing, even saying things like "suck" stuff like that would elicit a "HEYYYY WE DO NOT USE THAT LANGUAGE IN THIS HOUSE" and maybe a "GO TO YOUR ROOM" we just were not allowed to use bad words at all ever, maybe that's why I grew up to be such a potty mouth... Anyways, one day when my brother was around 13 years old and I was 10 or 11, we were sitting at our little table eating dinner together and my brother just slams his utensils down (mind you my brother was like a 6 foot tall 13 year old, lanky, but still considerably much larger than both of us and inarguably the funniest out of anyone), he looks at my mom and says, "You know what Mom, I'm the man of the house, I think we can all agree on that. Therefore, I declare open swearing. FUCK SHIT FUCK BITCH HELL CRAP FUCK SHIT BITCH ASS ASSHOLE FUCK SHIT FUUUUCK." My mom just looked at him for a good hard second trying so hard to be appalled but just burst out laughing so hard and he just kept going. She tried to get him to stop and regain her composure but it just was not happening. He ate the rest of his dinner asking her to "pass me a fucking napkin" and "are there any fucking leftovers" and from that day on, we still weren't completely allowed to swear, but if we did by accident it was okay because the man of the house had laid down the law and we were just abiding by it. In terms of poking with objects he was also second to none, one time he duct taped together like 5 sticks and put an L shape on the last one so that he could poke my mom from around the corner. That ended in her snapping the sticks and telling him he couldn't use the car if he kept doing it. He was in high school by then. Unrelated, but one of my most favorite brother moments was this time he was getting in an argument with her, he was like 8 or so, maybe a little younger, so I was 6ish, and he could never ever ever lose an argument. He even got this cassette tape called "How to have an argument and win every time" and would listen to it every day, it was completely obnoxious. He didn't argue like a little kid, he had this way of just calmly (lying) telling you that you were wrong over and over and over again until you wanted to bang your head on something. My mom figured out the best way to deal with it was to just walk up to her room and close the door and tell him that she would finish arguing with him in a little bit, and that just drove him mad. So he stood outside her door this particular time and said, "Mom, I just want to let you know that this argument isn't finished and you have to come out," and she was all like, "noooo I'm going into my room for a time out, we will finish this later." And he had just had it that day, he was infuriated that she found a loophole in his arguing and winning every time bullet proof formula. So he started fuming, looking around the house for some way to make her pay for what she had done. He got a bunch of masking tape and decided that if she wasn't going to come out, she was never going to come out, so he began taping her door shut. It started off from side to side and he made his way all the way up to the top and back down again, making sure she couldn't possibly open the door. He sat there with the biggest smile on his face, thinking for sure this would show her to walk away from an argument, she'll try to open the door and realize she's stuck and need his help and lose the argument. Well the moment came for her to come out, he heard the door handle turn and she pulls (yes pulls, not pushes) the door open inwards and sees this makeshift wall of tape. My brother forgot to account for which way the door opened. My mom stood there dying laughing and my brother had lost twice. Too clever for his own good. I also died laughing but that's also because I thought everything in the whole world was hysterical.

Also this video should just be called "How To Get Sent To Your Room"

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