Vlogmas 2016 Day 9 - Be Our Guestmas

Posted on December 10th by Jenna
 

Ma 'chere Mademoiselle,
It is with deepest pride, and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair in this rachet gym themed guest room - your air mattress!
Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put our air mattress to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck cherie,
And we'll provide the mediocre amenities
Soup du jour
Whatevers in the fridge
Why, we only live to kinda help you
Try the grey stuff
It's expired!
Don't believe me?
Ask the dogs!
They can sing they, can dance
After all, Miss, this is fuckin valley
And a dinner here is always second best
Go on, unfold the paper wine list
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guest, Oui, our guest, Be our guest!

LUMIERE AND CHORUS
Vegan Beef ragout
Vegan Cheese soufflé, vegan Pie and vegan pudding "en flambe" set on fire personally by Julien even though I lecture him on fire prevention literally every fucking day

LUMIERE
We'll prepare and serve with tornado flair!
A culinary garbage can
You're alone
And you're scared
But the banquet's all semi on fire
Everyones one's gloomy and complaining
While the flatware's what is flatware.
We tell jokes, we tell worse jokes
With my fellow Julien tornado

CHORUS
And it's all in poor taste
That you can bet
Come on and lift your plastic tumbler
You've won your own free pass to
Be our guest

LUMIERE
If you're stressed
It's full deep tissue body massage we suggest

CHORUS
Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!

LUMIERE
Life it so unnerving
For a Julien who's not tornadoing.
He's not whole without your belongings to set fire to
Ahh those good old days when we didn't have a fireplace
Suddenly, those good old days are gone.
Ten years we've been ottering
No we are not married
Even though Julien says "you married me" every day
Most days we just lay around the otter nest
Flabby, fat, and lazy
You watched our vlogmas, it's a mess

MRSPOTTS.

It's a guest It's! a guest
I'm so sorry for this mess
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I have like 8 bottles in the fridge
With dessert, she'll want a shot of vodka
And my dear that's fine with me.
While the cups don't match at all
Literally everything in this house is broken
Julien will get his neck wrap warm, piping hot
Heaven's sakes! It's on fire
Clean it up!
We want the company not on fire

CHORUS
We've got a lot to do!

MRS POTTS.
Is it one fire or two?
For you, our guest!

CHORUS

Be our guest

MRS POTTS.

Be our guest!

CHORUS

Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest

CHORUS

Be our guest! Be our guest!
We have nothing you'll request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed!
With saying "it's fine"
With body massages
Yes indeed, we aim to eventually get rid of this glitter
While the candlelight's still glowing
Cuz Julien falls asleep
And forgets to blow them out
Course by course,
One by one.
'Til you shout "why is your house on fire!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you sleep on your air mattress
Tonight you'll prop your feet up,
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!

 
 

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